At 3AM I woke up and went downstairs to get water. When I came back up the stairs my heart started skipping beats. It went on so long that I was able to get Mejin awake to listen to it. We were both freaked out a little. I sometimes get heart palpitations/arrhythmia but they usually go away within a few seconds. As I type this it is still going on. It’s been about 5 hours of heart skipping. Made worse when I walk up the stairs. No chest pain or numbness so I’m not going to the hospital just yet.
Update: It went on for about 20 hours before going away.
I read that I should quit drinking coffee and alcohol.
A few days ago I had a headache when I woke up. It transformed into a migraine so quickly. The pain was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. On a scale of 1-10 it was a 15. I was in so much pain that I had to call in sick for both of my jobs and couldn’t take care of my daughter. It was so debilitating. It felt like someone chopped my head off, tied it to the back of a truck, and let it bounce down the street for several miles. I get a migraine about once or twice every year but never this intense. Never enough to make me vomit multiple times from the sheer pain. The force of throwing up so hard broke the blood vessels in my face and gave me freckles. My body just couldn’t take it. It took about 10 hours for me to return to the light as a human instead of a moaning bed ridden zombie. I really hope it doesn’t ever happen again. To anyone in the world.
My mouth was covered with tape that I couldn’t take off. My heart bursting. I couldn’t get a word out to tell her she was dead. She was gone. She didn’t even know how she had died.
It was too much to handle. Where were we? Somewhere deep in her subconscious. Not mine. You have to move on. For your sake and mine. It’s been 9 years. These nightmares have to stop.
Someone left a 10 speed bike near my neighborhood. Just sitting there, painted in white and clearly out of place. I didn’t know how it got there but I was astounded that the same bike was still there 3 days later. If you knew this neighborhood you would be amazed too. There’s still some good in the world. Nobody has stolen it. Nobody touched it. Someone even walked by and propped it against a tree. As if you say, “Here, you left your bike.” Nobody came to claim it though.
Update: This morning I saw the white bike lying on the ground. Looking sad with both of its tires now missing.
Yesterday is so far the worst day that I’ve had all year. With the recent snow hammering the pacific north west we received a modest 5 inches of snow in our neighborhood. The snow being what it is we decided to stay home. Unfortunately our power decided to go out. Instead of freezing in our house Mejin wanted to go over to her parent’s house to study, be warm, and have a warm place to sleep. I reluctantly agreed.
I opted on taking my car instead of hers which in hindsight was a bad idea. I just felt that my car handled the snow better. While trekking through the snow I was fiddling with the car stereo because it kept flickering on then flickering off. Very strange. I decided to leave the faceplate off. Unexpectedly while in the left turn lane at the Spanaway loop intersection of 176th my car died. Like an idiot I kept turning the key hoping that it would eventually come back to life. The clicking of the hazard lights and the dog whining in my ears. I eventually gave up. I waited to push it out of the road. Thankfully someone saw the trouble that I was having pushing my car through the frozen ice hills and helped me from the back. After getting it into the gas station I looked back and saw 4 guys helping me. I was so out of breath at the end of it that I had a hard time thanking them. I hope they know how much I appreciated the help. Times that that you feel so helpless.
After having the car towed away and getting a ride we needed a car. We borrowed Mejin’d Dad’s car to go back to our house to get Mejin’s car. What came later was a fantastic series of getting stuck, getting stuck again, getting stuck again, then getting stuck again. Sliding everywhere the entire way. Even getting stuck in the driveway trying to park the car was par for the course.
Of course what night wouldn’t be complete without getting absolutely no sleep because the room was too hot, the dog was freaked out, and I couldn’t de-stress from earlier. I am now running on about 1-2 hours of actual sleep. I can’t wait for this day to be over already and it’s only just begun.
At least I know that God could have made it worse if he wanted to.